I have wracked my brain over the last week or so on the perfect topic to post on to no avail…Then today I find myself once again overtired, overstressed, and overworked, and fighting for what seems like the millionth time with my 2 1/2 year old, realizing that I can’t find the perfect topic because my life is nothing like perfect.
Having two kids both in the pre-preschool age, a husband who is just now starting to discover who he wants to be (which so it happens might not be the person I planned a life out with), a dog who hasn’t seemed to notice what I needed out of a four-legged companion, and an entire other family of four, with their own expectations, needs, and wants trying to make life happen for themselves while living in the same house. Well lets just say this is not a recipe for relaxation and calm.
I find myself losing control too often 😦 and to top everything off the one thing that is bringing me some sense of self is draining my energy even more. Now, now…I don’t want to hear any crap on how I should feel blessed, and children are the joy of life or some other non-sense like that. I love my children. I love my Husband. I even love my needy, rat-like dog. I just wonder at what point in life do you stop feeling guilty over wanting a little of yourself back?? And when is it ok to admit that sometimes playing house just isn’t what you imagined when you were five? Because let’s face it “playing house” and playing house are two totally different things.
Honestly I love cooking, I love crafting, I even (use to) love doing laundry. I really like keeping house..Its just so hard to find that balance between responsibility and enjoyment. All these things I loved doing when I had a nine to five and dreamed of a life of homemaking. Boy did I not have any idea what I was asking for when I tried to force my 17 year old boyfriend into playing house with me!
That fact remains though that I can’t change this. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I must stay home with my girls, and I must have patience with my husband while he finds himself out there, and I must take care of the dog I so desperately thought I needed. “This too shall pass,” as my Grammy always says to me ❤
All I’m asking for today is that maybe just maybe my youngest could trust me when I tell her that the baby dress is too small for her carebear and that’s why it won’t button…because I love her, not because I’m trying to ruin her life.
Tomorrow will be a better today 🙂
*quick edit*
As I sat here writing this post my eldest was busy in my studio cutting up a project I had underway to sell in my shop 😦
A Less Than Perfect Homemaker 